Caring For Your Child Post Separation



Children are the most precious and loved part of our lives from the time they are born. The realities in our society regarding intimate/marital relationships is that relationships change and often times end. As adults, it is our responsibility to protect and care for our children, which in normal circumstances appears to be common sense and a natural occurrence. Unfortunately when those intimate relationships end the emotional upheaval that is experienced by the adult partners at times tends to cloud their judgment. Below are a few tips gathered in our Family Law practice and in my personal experience which help to provide a clear vision of the best interests for our children during and after the dissolution of a relationship.

  1. Prior to speaking to your children about the breakup of your relationship, employ the assistance of a family therapist to formulate a plan on how to address this separation with the children. This advanced planning and guidance can be crucial in providing an affirmation of the love from potentially separate households for your children and a degree of predictability and stability in how their lives will look post-separation.
  2. Although we are in the business of law, our attorneys and I firmly believe that the last person that you want to decide the fate of your family is a stranger from behind the Bench. It is imperative that in spite of any emotional difficulties that you are having that you affirm that the protection and best interests of your children is the most important aspect of your relationship’s dissolution.
  3. When relocating to a separate residence plan wisely and conveniently. The day to day care for children from separate residences is tedious on both parents and the children. Try to simplify your children’s lives by living within close proximity to the other household, to extended family, to religious facilities, to the children’s schools and their friends. These decisions will only provide continued stability for the children.
  4. As we all know, children pick up on animosity even when it is unspoken. It is very important to not speak ill of your ex-spouse/partner in front of the children or in earshot when speaking to others. Additionally, it is not necessary to drag your ex-spouse/partner through the mud publicly, the uneasiness created socially can and will make its way back to your children in some social setting which could have easily been avoided.
  5. Be certain to care for yourself, your spiritual being and your happiness so to ensure your children are able to reflect all those amazing traits that both of their parents possess.